Cause imma ride or die whether you fail or fly

Not entirely. For as much as I loved him, it was hard to be with him, we’d already broken up once before. At first it was very painful. I was high and drunk on love, and then in a minute I was forced to sober up and it was horrible, but I’ve had a month now and things are getting a lot better. I still love him in some ways, he was my first real love and someone I imagined everything with, but I’m moving on now. I’ve lost a huge chunk of my life and my heart, but at the same time, found others I lost.

For instance I didn’t draw once when I was with him, which sickens me. I’m disgusted in myself and I wish someone could punch me in the face and knock some sense into me. I used to love drawing so, so, so much, now I don’t have the drive to draw, I feel I’ve lost some of my skill and enthusiasm. Which makes me sad, but at the same time, I bothered to get my pencils out for a reason last week and I want to re-find that passion I had for art. And the freedom I have now will hopefully let me do that. I don’t have to worry about another person any more and I don’t have to waste time on him. 

I also want to try my hand at embroidery and maybe make myself a quilt or a cute pillow. And also it helps distract me and move on.